Who Looks After You? — Selfless or Selfish to Put Yourself Last?

Who looks after you?

When was the last time you did something just for yourself? Not because you had to, someone else needed you, or it was another task on your list — but simply because you wanted to?

Perhaps it was a walk, meeting a friend, reading, exercising, sitting quietly with a coffee, or doing something that brings you joy.

When we're busy looking after everyone else, making time for ourselves can feel difficult — even selfish.

We become very good at looking after everyone else.

Many of us spend years looking after our families, work, responsibilities and the people around us.

We remember appointments, meet deadlines and keep everything moving. But somewhere along the way, we can forget ourselves.

We tell ourselves we'll make time when things calm down. But life rarely completely calms down.

So when exactly do we get to look after ourselves?

Looking after yourself isn't selfish

This is something I still have to remind myself of. I can sometimes feel guilty about exercising or going for a run. That little voice says, “Shouldn't you be doing something else?”

Walking or running with my dog helps, as I know she needs to go out anyway, so I can justify the time out. I enjoy it, I get outside in nature and I move my body.

But I've also learnt that I don't need to justify taking time to look after myself.

Looking after your own energy is not selfish — it is necessary.

Your energy allows you to be there for the people you love, enjoy your relationships, do the things that matter to you and live your life fully.

We don't need to become martyrs.

Being endlessly available doesn't necessarily make us better partners, parents, friends or family members. If you're exhausted, overwhelmed and running on empty, how much energy do you have left for the people and experiences that matter?

Looking after yourself isn't about becoming less caring. It's about recognising that you are part of the equation too.

Perhaps we need to retrain ourselves to see “me time” differently — not as something we have to earn, squeeze in when everything else is done, or feel guilty about.

What would you do with a little more “me time”?

Think about the last time you did something purely because it brought you pleasure. What was it? How did it make you feel?

It doesn't have to be a whole day, or even an hour. A walk, a run, coffee outside, time with a friend, music, reading, a hobby — or simply doing nothing for a while.

Sometimes looking after our wellbeing isn't about adding another task to an already full list.

Sometimes it's about making space for the things that help us feel like ourselves again.

And perhaps that isn't time taken away from the people you love. Perhaps it's time that helps you return to them with more energy, patience, presence and joy.

So, who looks after you?

Maybe it's time you did.